and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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