i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
