I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
