mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
