When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
only if we run a train.
done.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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