we're blogging at a bar
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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