what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
