Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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