No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
