wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
