On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
