I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
