Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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