I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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