he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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