I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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