I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
