Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
