Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
