How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
