Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
