2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
