Your tits are I can't wait for
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
