Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
be right there i have to get my cape
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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