I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I need moral support for this bender
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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