I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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