Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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