someone get that fucking seahorse.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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