Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
