That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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