Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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