i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
