If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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