did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
