from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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