Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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