He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
