No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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