Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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