I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
