You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize