i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
soo... how was my night?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
