He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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