haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
