You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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