Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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