hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
