She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
