You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
