Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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