guys are not supposed to queef...right?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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