Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
