i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
