no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
