And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
