Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
