My room smells like vodka and shame
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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